Scans of my life

Tue - 13 Mar 2006
Yesterday went for the brain & neck scan in the morning. Went with my mum and nephew. They kept me company. When we reached the imaging center was really impressed by the setup. They were very attentive to my needs. I told them my fear abt the MRI, and they assured me. For scans, i was attended by 2 personnels, a lady and a guy. Started with the neck scan, the sound of the machine really freak me out despite prayers and dear dear assuring words thru SMS. He cldn't be there as he was really busy at wk. So got to stop and take a break be4 proceeding to the brain scan where injection was required so that can see clearer of the changes of the cycst in the brain. When it started, i was ok as i brought a christian cd to listen. Was assured by the lyrics but as the sound got louder, fear creeped in and i had to press the emergency button to stop the scan. As expected, i cried and the 2 personnels were very attentive, they assured me that i can take a break and soon it will be over. They got me a hot milo as i was really cold. The image rm was colder than the reception area and i was only covered by a green robe. Finally, came the moment when i needed to be injected with the dye into my body. The look of needle freaked me out but finally got injected. I really feared needles poking into me. Till this day, i had countless needles poking into my skin. Hee based on my experience i must say its the head that is most painful as it has no muscle! So anywhere else is still bearable.

Glad that the ordeal was over. I went there at 9.30am and left at 1pm! When it was over, just find myself silly as to why i was so scared hee. Thru this, i can understand why jesus said "you of little faith". I was reminded by Peter walking on the water. Initially, when he focused at Jesus he was able to walk on water. But when he saw the waves, he begun to sink. Exactly, what i was thru! Once you are distracted, fear will devour you. Yet its really easier say than done for me ;p, how long can my faith/focus last w/o being distracted...I really woman of little faith

And also i learnt that in life, its really God & you. When i was taking a break, i saw my mum & nephew at the reception area. That's so far that they can be with me. Some journeys in life you will hv to walk alone. So who can you fall upon besides God. And He is always there with you.

Ya, this is the machine that i am in (the pic on the poster). My upper torso will be in the tunnel during the scan.

Aft that we went back to my mum's place. Took a nap and promised nephew that will bring him down to playgrd at 4pm. At 4plus, my nephew suddenly woke up fr his nap and asked me bring him to playgrd. Indeed, every child is an empty tank. They will absorb and believe what adults say. They are just pure innocent. So as adults we must be a gd example for them. At downstairs, he really enjoyed himself and laughing loudly. Get a chance to teach him to try to climb the slide, jump off fr the step (ha ha if my parents seen this, they'll faint). I guess the setback of hvg grandparents to look aft grandkids are they tend to be over protective, my parents afraid that my nephew will injure himself so will always tell him not to do this, not to do that. So whenever, i hv chance i will teach him (Just feel sorry for him that his parents (my bro & sil) are not ard to nurture him. Thereaft, bath for him, really enjoy it.

At night, i told my parents aft dinner, dear dear & myself needed to rush off as Toby is at home alone all day. When I told dear dear abt my concern, he hurried to my parents. When we reached hm, we fed Toby and brought him down for a walk immediately. At the lift, dear dear & myself looked at each other and said "are we idolising toby?". We said nothing but just a big smile hee.

We slept abt 12 plus but Toby was still very alert. He kept pacing outside our rm. Dear dear's heart soften and let him slept with us, beside our bed. Toby was still awake so we went out to the living rm to keep him company. I played fetch with him while dear dear rested on the sofa. Finally, he was satisfied and we all went to sleep.

And this was how we spent the day on dear dear's birthday. He wanted nothing but a simple day with Toby & me. My gift for him, i guess is my health. I will continue to take gd care of my health. This day i learnt alot.

Today - Wed 14 Mar
Morning woke up, my neck was really painful. Perhaps was becos dear dear rubbed oilment on my neck and head. Thkful for dear dear as he made efforts to rub oilmt on me every night, in hope tt my headache will get better. The aft effect. I can't bend my neck too long if not i will feel nausea.

Stayed at hm and played with Toby. Did only laundry. Bought newspaper hm to read. Read how bad the pollution is happening in china and india! So terrible. The water is badly polluted!

Dear dear initially mentioned that he will hv dinner w vendor but in the end don't hv. So happy so as usual i prepared dinner. 2-3 dishes plus soup.

And for toby, prepared a veg side dish for him. While preparing, he was already very excited, making all the noise. He finished up the veg in split mins. Ya bought him a new bowl, soccer ball design!

Tomorrow will go for another rd of check up at raffles hospital and fri aft will go to the neuro surgeon for the results findings. Really prayed that thru all these, i will be found ok.