Another day

Today. my neck is very much better. Seems almost recovered except for the sides of the neck. But the headache is still there. And the bad weather makes it worse. These 2 days have been so so hot that sitting down doing nothing can also perspire. We hv been switching on aircon for bedtime these 2 days. I guess tonight as well.

Went to see Dr Fong, he encourages me to be easier on myself. Don't treat everything in life as examination. True i tend to take things on hand too seriously. He says must learn to relax and enjoy. Ha ha he asks me if i enjoy doing anything, i realise i don't hv an immediate answer hee. Ok ok got watch tv, talk shows especially like Oprah and nu ren wo zui da etc. Oh ya and fashion shows.

Finally, picked up the ph to call NLB on my interest on voluntary story telling to the kids. Mm guess what the cust srvc officer gave me a ph no that is always engaged. What's happening? Will call again to check and verify the no.Met my ex boss fr iWrite for lunch at cityhall. Had a good update and we talked fr 12.45pm to 3pm. We had so much to catch up! Hee actually more on her stuff, she shared abt her mil, her kids, her hubby (my friend too) and the girl who replaced me hee. Not easy for her to take her of her stroke and recently discovered suffered fr pakinson disease mil. She shared if not for God's love, she doesn't think she will be able to care for her mil. Agree, many a times if not for God's love, we can't be where we are, to love; to care. Oh ya, she asked if i m interested to wk part time fr aug to oct while her staff goes on maternity hee. Got up to end May to decide.

Back to myself, after the last few days of lowest period of my life, i am trying to pick up myself again and be cheerful. Can't deny at this stage i feel frustrated inwardly still. Frustrated with myself still, but like Dr Fong said, "pls be nice to yourself". So tried to smile more and don't rationale too much.I shared to dear that i felt bad that i neglect Toby and even feel guilty for not wanting to play with him. Sometimes i juz wanna be left alone, just wish he can juz sit next to me and not wanting me play fetch with him. Mm hope i will get out of this soon as its really unfair for him as i am his everything.